Forrest Gump Goes To Heaven

My friend Donna sent this one to me.

The day finally arrives. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at The Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself.

Saint Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, Saint Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."

Saint Peter chuckles, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions." First: What two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees Saint Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest answers, "Well, the first one: which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'? Gee, that one is easy. That would be today and tomorrow."

Saint Peter's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point. I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one? How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one is harder, responds Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, Saint Peter states, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how did you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest replies, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "

"Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind. But I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name?"

"Sure," Forrest says, "it's Andy."

"Andy?" exclaims Saint Peter. "Okay, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how did you come up with the name Andy as God's first name?"

"Why, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest stated. "I learnt it from the song, 'Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own.'"

Saint Peter laughs and opens the Pearly Gates saying, "Run Forrest, run."


It's good to laugh with jokes about Heaven, but isn't it even better when we reflect that Heaven has no entrance exams? All a person need do to get into Heaven is to accept Jesus Christ as his/her Lord. If you'd like to find out more, push the red READY button in my sidebar.