Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veterans Day & The Shopper

(I realize that the date is wrong, but I can do nothing about that.)

My husband is a veteran. He never fought in a war, but he served four years in the Navy. Today I thank him and all of the men and women who helped me have freedom to enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third store, everything had just been reduced to only $5.00 when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible accident, and was in critical condition in the ICU.

The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible. As she hung up, she realized she was leaving what had been shaping up to be her best shopping day ever. She decided to get in a couple more stops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the for the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful complimentary coffee cake slice. She was jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband! Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition.

The female physician glared at her and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you'll ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And you'll now be his care-giver!"

The wife broke down and sobbed.

The female doctor chuckled and said, "I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead. Let's see what you bought."

34 comments:

Eleanor said...

Sally!!! That is what I call dark humour!! Sorry I did not have time for Blue Monday yesterday but I did think of you all. Now I am off to your book blog to get my tag instructions.

Darlene said...

OOOOOooo Sally, that is bad...but funny too! Happy Veterans Day!

Chris said...

God Bless America.

Hugs,
Chris

Flip Flop Floozie said...

OHHHH!! That is simply awful but in a very awful way funny i guess!! Smile!! I never would like shopping that much!! Even if the things were all $5.00...but it is just a joke!! WHEW!! Glad of that.
Hope that all is well today for you. I am off to Mrs. B's again!!

judicreations said...

good Morning Sally!
Oh dear thats funny. That really put a smile on my face...the shopping and understanding doctor joke...the other was real cute too. We do remember and are thankful today.
Have a lovely day.
Judi

Gwendolyn said...

I kinda feel guilty for laughing out loud at that! Just don't tell my husband. :o)

Killlashandra said...

My Dad is a veteran too. He never got shipped abroad because he could type. Fascinating the reasons why the Army does stuff, but a man who could type was such a rarity in the Army they kept him around to help out. There are lots of veterans in my in laws family too. Including my father in law who served in Vietnam and my brother in law who served 2 tours in Iraq.

R.L.Scovens said...

I'm an Army Vet so I just wanted to say thank you for the thoughts!!

bj said...

oooo, that's TERRIBLE...excuse me...now i gotta get ready to go shopping !! hee hee...
Where DO you get these fabulous jokes??!!
love, bj

Raxx - A day in the life said...

Sally!!! Dont know if to laugh or cry at that one!!

Picket said...

I stand correct...you must have been raised on the South side of town! lol lol I never knew giblet gravy crossed the Mason Dixon line! lol lol Must have been smuggled out! lol lol Girl do I detect a little wild side to you with this humor this morning!? lol

squawmama said...

Sally... I doesn't matter how long or when they served... They are our protectors... Thanks for the funny and the joke.... I lOVED it...

(((HUGS)))
Donna

char72 said...

Oh Sally, you are too funny. As I was reading along I wondered how the shopping story would end. Somehow I knew I would be laughing whatever it was. I was right. I love your lightheartedness.
Charlotte

Susie Q said...

You silly lady you...I love dark humor! : )

Thank your vet for me...it matters not how long they served. He served!


Love,
Sue

Shelia said...

Oh, Sally, you bad bad girl. That was shameless!! lol You know I laughed out loud!! :) You are so full of funnies!
Woo Hoo for all our veterans today. Mr. Precious is a veteran too!
be a sweetie, you bad bad thing...
Shelia ;)

Diamond said...

That was sooo cold...but funny! :-D

Diane of Crafty Passions said...

Sally that was naughty.... bad girl!!
But it cracked me up!! LOL!!
Diane

Charli and me said...

Hi Sally,
Extend a big hug and thank you to your hubby from me.

Baba's Blog .. Babies Are Special said...

Hi Sally, your first joke was cute..Give your husband my thanks for protecting our freedom..the last joke had a surprising ending!! Take care and hugs, Baba

Shimmy Mom said...

My hubby is a veteran too. 9 years in the Coast Guard and them medically retired. God bless them all!
*hugs*

Linda said...

That story is hilarious!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!

jeanne said...

Sally, You are a little crazy girl. I had a good chuckle over that one. I was trying to figure out the punch line as I was reading and I didn't guess that one.

Talking about shopping I am going on a big shopping trip to a huge outlet mall about 70 miles from here. We have very little shopping in Franklin and the women from church are going on a bus. I hope my dh is ok and my knee holds up. LOL. We won't get home till dark.
I will take my camera.

My daughter is home with Tanner and all is well. Tanner knows he is loved already.

Hugs...Jeanne

Neas Nuttiness said...

This is sick - but Oh So Funny!
Love that Maxine!

Melissa Wertz said...

Oh my goodness! You bad bad girl! LOL!

Dawn said...

Hello Sally. My husband was also in the Navy for four years. (Many years ago) He never served during war time either. My step father was also in the navy. My thoughts and gratitude are will all those who have served our country.

take care,
Dawn

Diane@A Picture is Worth.... said...

Hi Sally,
You are a hoot...thanks for the chuckle this evening!

Alex said...

Hi Sally....LOVE your cartoon. :) My father is a veteran, too. Thanks for faithfully stopping by. :)

Theresa @ Take A Sentimental Journey said...

Oh that was a good one Sally.

nikkicrumpet said...

YAY NAVY MEN!! My dad, hubby and stepson...all Navy men!! That joke was sooooo bad...and soooo funny in a sick way lol

Bridget said...

There's something else our hubbies have in common, both Navy men!

Are you going to guess in the baby contest? I had your comment about the bonus baby but not all of the others!!!!

Life on Bonnie Lane said...

I love the Maxine cartoon!

That story was hilarious. I've heard it before, but its still funny every time. It reminds me so much of the story of a woman who is called into the doctors office to speak to him privately while her ailing husband lies in a hospital bed. The doctor tells her that in order for him to survive, she will have to get up at the crack of dawn, fix him an elaborate breakfast and make love to him. Then at noon, she has to serve him his favorite lunch, and make love to him again. Every evening, she will have to prepare him a steak dinner, and top it all off with sex yet again. She will have to cater to his every need for the rest of his life.

She leaves the doctor's office and goes to her husband's hospital room. He asks her, "What did the doctor say?"

She answered, "I'm sorry. You're going to die."

Kady

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Tell your hubby thank you so much for his service - I appreciate every single one of our men and women who serve or have served.

Clif said...

If this comes through twice please forgive me. My computer just messed up. So here I go again.

This gave me the best laugh I have had in a long time. My wife of fifty years absolutely loves to shop. I wrote a fourteen chapter book (Unpublished)with the title: The Romance of Shopping - How to really, really love a woman and be loved in return. I read this post yesterday and I'm still laughing.

Cathy said...

Thanks to your husband and all who have served for our freedom.

That is some joke, Sally ~