Great price? Check.
Careful with the China? Check.
Asked for your new address? Uh, oh.
Mime Movers is a great concept, but those invisible boxes don't seem to work very well.
The first load they took was your entertainment center, home computer, and jewelry. That was two weeks ago.
The phone number on their business card connects you to the Crime Stoppers hotline.
They don't use peanuts to pack your fine crystal--they use peanut butter.
They assure you that your stuff will get from NY to LA before you do--assuming there's not much traffic in the Panama Canal.
Upon arrival at your new home, you notice that the driver's new uniform looks an awful lot like your wife's old wedding dress.
They offer a "Bordello rate" if you allow them to make use of your bed during transport.
After you call Big Top Movers, a Volkswagen Beetle shows up and 13 clowns reeking of elephant dung climb out.
Insists that Swiss cheese, not Styrofoam, makes the best packing material, and proceeds to wrap china in individual slices.
Their slogan: "100% satisfaction or your silverware back!"
They keep flicking ashes in Grandma's urn.
The guys from One Glove Movers show up wearing surgical masks and proceed to carry each item in one gloved hand while they hold their crotches and moonwalk to the truck.
The first question they ask: "Paper or plastic?"
"Starving Students" were booked solid, and "Thirsty Fratboys" didn't seem like such a bad idea at the time.
An hour after the truck pulls away, all your stuff is listed on eBay.
The box marked "TV" is barking.